When my late wife was killed in a car accident (March 2004)

I knew it would shape me.

It wasn’t a question of if, only a question of how.

• Would it change me for the better or for the worse?

• Would it move me towards who I hoped to become, or shape me into someone I didn’t want to become?

• Would it move me toward my destiny in life or push me away from it?

I knew the choice was mine.

Whether it’s through the crushing blow of tragedy or the chipping away through daily demands and disappointments - life is going to shape us.

Some people become hardened, others more humble.
Some become cynical, others more grateful.
Some grow to resent life; others discover a deeper purpose to life.
Some wilt, others bloom. Some learn to hate, others learn to love.
Some become hopeless; others become resilient.
Some are blown off course; others are moved toward their destiny.

It’s not a question of if, only a question of how.

So let me ask you: How is life shaping you?

• Are you becoming twisted into someone you don’t want to become or are you allowing life to transform you into the person you desire to be?

• Are you allowing life to move you toward your ultimate purpose in life, or have you allowed the winds and storms of life to push you away from your desired destiny?

Our response determines the outcome. The choice is ours!

If I can in anyway help you to more fully live life on purpose or if you are currently navigating a major-life transition or tragedy - I would love to help. https://kenlroberts.com/kenlrobertslives

Living On Purpose

Ken L Roberts
Excerpt from my book, Unexpected: Navigating Life’s Unforeseen Turns

It was a Wednesday.  

I had just finished an impromptu meeting with some of my staff when my children’s pastor, Steve, casually said, “Hey guys I need to head home for a few minutes. I’ve called my wife a few times and she hasn’t answered. See you later.” 

A few minutes later I was still talking with our youth pastor in his office my cell phone rang.

It was Steve. He was hysterical.

Through his sobbing I somehow summarized what he was saying. I heard it, yet couldn’t believe it.

“Pastor Ken, Pastor Ken please come and help…Please.  I think my wife’s dead. I found her in the bathtub lying face down under the water. I’ve pulled her out…she’s on the floor. But I think she’s dead. I don’t know what to do…Oh…Please come …Please come and help.”

I rushed to Steve’s house, arriving first on the scene. Ran upstairs, and there on the bathroom floor Steve was kneeling over his wife.

I started CPR. No response.

I continued. No response. The medics arrived and started trying to revive her. I stood in the doorway; watching, praying, hoping, wishing. The medic leaning over Mel’s body caught my eye, and with a shake of his head, signaled she was dead. 

Mel had suffered from epilepsy. Over the years this mean and twisted disease had worsened, arriving more frequently and acting more violently. This last visit, would be its last.  

Melanie Sue Ekholm left behind her husband Steve, her three year old son, Isaiah, her parents and two older sisters, and many, many dear friends.

She was only thirty-seven.  

In my message at Melanie’s memorial service, I made this statement about death;

“We might be surprised how death happens, or we might be surprised when death happens, but we all know death is going to happen.”

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not suggesting we should be fixated on death. Life is a gift to be savored. However, “Readiness to die is the first step in learning to live.”

So are you living today like you’re going to die…because one day you will.

If I can help you live with greater purpose, I’d be honored to do so. https://www.kenlroberts.com/kenlrobertslives

Living On Purpose:

Ken

The above is an excerpt from my new book Focus: A Practical Guide To A Fruitful Life. It will be released April, 2019.

Two Things You Need To Know About Me

Before you and I move ahead in our relationship, there are two important things you need to know about me. 

There have been two unexpected turns in my life that have influenced me, more that anything else, on who I am today and what I want to accomplish with the rest of my life.

The Loss of My First Wife

This first event was the loss of my late wife.

On a routine trip to a women’s bible study, my wife of twenty-five years was killed in a car accident. At the time of the accident, I was forty-seven, the father of two adult children, and the pastor of a large and growing congregation. The sudden loss of my wife has motivated me – more than anything else – to live my life with purpose and to help others do the same. You can read the full story of my late wife's passing and how I navigated through this very difficult season of my life through my book Unexpected: Navigating Life's Unforeseen Turns <----- CLICK HERE

The Loss of a Major Ministry

The second event was the erosion and eventual implosion of a large church I lead.

Nine months before my late wife's passing, the church I was leading at the time had just moved into a new 55,000 square foot building, with a 1,300 seat state of the art auditorium, on a 42-acre campus, and a ten million dollar price tag. With more than a million dollars in cost overruns and a sudden down turn in the economy, when we moved into our new facility and didn’t experience the expected and needed growth, the financial pressures became enormous.The devastating impact of the loss of my wife and the mounting financial pressures , started a downward spiral from which we never fully recovered. Within 6 years, the church I had led and loved for 25 years, was no longer even in existence.

This second event has motivated me to help leaders live well while they lead well and to partner with local churches in their pursuit of ongoing of health and growth. (You can read my other book, Staying Power, that came out of this season of my life and leadership: Staying Power: Five Core Idea's to Sustainability in Christian Leadership <----- CLICK HERE
 

What's Remarkable About My Story

What's remarkable about my story is that these two events have shaped me, more than anything else, into who I am today and what I want to accomplish with the rest of my life. My story has given me the opportunity to help thousands of people navigate through unexpected turns in life, help hundreds of leaders live well while they lead well,  and help numerous local churches in their ongoing pursuit of greater health and growth. I would have never dreamed that my pain would lead me to my greater life’s-purpose - but it has. 

I've dedicated the rest of my life to help lives, leaders, and local churches move from where they're at to where they want to be.  

• Lives - live life on purpose

• Leaders - live well while you lead well

• Local Churches - partnering for ongoing health and growth

If I can serve you in anyway, I’d be honored to do so.

Living and Leading on Purpose

Ken L Roberts

Life is made up of seasons. One season followed by another, followed by another...As you string them all together they make up a life. 

As I write this post we are heading into a new season. Vacations are over, kids are back in school, summer is winding down, and fall is just around the corner. 

I’m heading into a new season of life as well. It’s a season that represents what I’ve decided to do with the rest of my life to.   

My new website reflects exactly what I plan on doing with the rest of my life and exactly how I plan on doing it.    

So if you would, give it a quick review here - www.kenlroberts.com

Love to hear from you.

Ken L Roberts
Speaker//Author//Coach//Online Trainer

When evangelist Billy Graham’s wife, Ruth Bell Graham, died in 2007, she chose to have engraved on her gravestone words that had nothing to do with her remarkable achievements.

She tells the story that she had been driving one day along a highway through a construction site, and there were miles of detours and cautionary signs and machinery and equipment. She finally came to this last one, and this final sign read, “End of construction. Thank you for your patience.” *

And that’s what Ruth Bell Graham chose to have written on her gravestone:

“End of Construction. Thank you for your patience.”

Leonard Ravenhill, a well-known revivalist of the last century, had these words written on his gravestone:

“Are the things you are living for,
Worth the things Christ died for?”

John Maxwell wants these words written on his gravestone:

“Here lies a man who lived with purpose and intentionality.”

Jehoram (a king in the Old Testament)  had these words left by others on his gravestone:

“He passed away to no one’s regret.”

The words on my late wife’s gravestone are:

“In Christ, With Christ.”

The words I want on my gravestone are:

“He died leaning forward.”

How about you?  What will yours be?

“________________________”

C.S. Lewis put it this way:

“The Christians who did the most for the present world were just those who thought the most of the next…It is in since Christians have largely ceased to think of the other world that they have become so ineffective in this one. Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you will get neither.”

So when you come to the end of your life, what do you want people to say about you? What words do you want written on your gravestone?

It’s an honest, probing, important question.

Sincerely submitted,
Ken L Roberts

Please leave a comment: If you have an idea of what you want written on your gravestone—I’d love to hear it. Leave a comment in the section below. Thanks!

And if you haven't yet, please consider joinin our Grow Community - It's FREE. (put in link)

*Material from John Ortberg’s book, Soul Keeping, p 151

Photo of Ruth Bell Graham used under fair use.
“Gravestone of Ruth Bell Graham” by Billy Hathorn licensed under CC BY 3.0.

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