I Got Smacked Today!
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Getting Things Done

I was at home in my office getting some work done.

I walked down the hall to my wife’s art studio, and in casual conversation, Missy mentioned she had just received news that a friend of ours who had been a part of a church where we had recently pastored, had just died. She was diagnosed with cancer and within three months, she had passed.

When my wife told me the news, I barely acknowledged it. I think I said something like, “Oh, that’s too bad, she was such a good person” and just kept going on with whatever I was working on.

I Got Smacked

A few minutes later I jumped into my car and headed out to the gym for a workout.

That’s when I got smacked.

As I was driving down the road, it hit me. I hadn’t even slowed down long enough to acknowledge that someone who had once been close to us, someone who had been very involved in a church where I had only recently pastored, I hadn’t even taken the time to acknowledged her death.

God Smacked Me

Some would call it conviction. But call it what you want, that’s when I got smacked…and honestly…I think it was God who smacked me. I was really shocked at my calloused response. I was Convicted. I felt Remorseful. I was Ashamed. My heart was Grieved.

Seriously, was my daily routine, my daily tasks, my current work projects - really that important? Couldn’t I slow down long enough to feel the emotions of loss, of sorrow, of grief? Couldn’t I stop long enough to reflect on some of the fond memories of this one-time friend? Couldn’t I change gears long enough to feel my feelings of appreciation for a former supportive friendship?

Wow!

What had happened to me? Did I really think my life and the things in my life were really that important? Had the “driveness” of my days caused me to drive right by the things that were most important? In my robotic work had I forgotten what it means to be human - to be in touch with my own humanness and the humanness of those around me?

God Forgive Me

Right there, while driving down the road in my car, I made this sincere confession: “Oh God, forgive me!”

Not sure if you have the same waywardness caused by the driveness of your days that I’ve had, but if so, let’s encourage one another to slow down long enough to live. Let’s find more time to laugh, cry, reflect, remember, love, talk, connect, feel, emote…let’s find the time to live.

How About You?

I’m glad I got smacked! How about you? If so, consider it done!

Ken L Roberts

Ken Roberts
5 Essentials For Moving Into Your Sweet-Spot
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Beat the odds

According to research done by J. Robert Clinton, from the leadership development department at Fuller Theological Institute, only 20% of leaders ever make it to what he calls “convergence.” That’s where our gifts, passions, temperament, and our life and ministry experiences all come together. It’s when we’re living and leading out of our “sweet spot.”  

Yep you heard right. Only 20%! That’s pretty high odds. 

But in this article let me help you beat the odds. Below are 5 Essentials For Moving Into Convergence.

CLARITY

  • Taking the time to discover your “North - Star” (ie your life and leadership purpose) is critical to moving into convergence. This is where you bring together your early years of formation, your gifts, your primary passions, your unique temperament, and your ministry experiences and life experiences. They all come together (merge) into your sweet-spot.

After doing workshops and coaching thousands of pastors and christian leaders over the years, I’m surprised by the number of leaders who have never gone through a life purpose or mission clarification process. From my experience, it’s almost impossible to move into “convergence” without first doing the work to clarify your personal North-Star.

CONVICTION

  • Once you’ve done some of the work and become clearer about your North - Star, you’ll then gain greater CONVICTION. You’ll become convinced this is who you are and this is what you have to contribute in your next season of life and leadership. You’ll have greater conviction and a growing confidence to move in that direction.

COURAGE

  • Once you have clarity and a strong conviction about what your contribution should be in your next season, you’ll then need courage. Risk will be involved. Change will be involved. Uncertainty will be involved. Greater surrender will be involved.

This is where I see many people miss it. They often don’t (or won’t) take the necessary steps of courage to move into their convergence. They hesitate. They delay. The rationalize. They talk themselves out of it. In the end, they don’t take the risk and everything remains as is.

A COACH

  • I don’t use this point in a self-serving way, BUT the reality is, it’s very difficult (almost impossible) to move into convergence unless you have someone who has gone there ahead of you and can now help you get there. All the research shows that if you have someone to help you move toward your goals - whether its running a marathon, losing 40 pounds, or getting out of debt - you are 80% more likely to get there. Moving into convergence is no different. Someone helping you get there will make a HUGE difference.

    So if your serious about making it to your sweet-spot, hire a coach and let them help you get there.

A CLEAR PLAN

  • I’m certainly not recommending you take a blind leap off a cliff and hope you’ll somehow end up in convergence. That could be sheer foolishness. But what I am recommending, you’ll need a clear and practical plan on how you are going to get there. I’m sorry to say, (and I don’t want to sound harsh with this statement), but without a plan you’ve only got a dream.

    So make sure you know where you want to go, how you’re going to get there, and then find someone to walk with you along the way.

A WAY TO HELP

If I can further help you move into your convergence, simply hit the link below and book a free, no obligation, coaching session with me. I’ve helped hundreds of people through this process of moving into their convergence and I’d love to help you as well.

Sincerely Submitted As A Fellow Traveler,

Ken 

P.S. Don’t delay. Hit the button below and book your free, no obligation, coaching call with me. I’d love to connect.

Ken Roberts
The Day I Almost Lost IT!!
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While watching Sesame Street with my daughter, I noticed a little girl playing with a jack-in-the-box toy. She turned the crank, round and round, while the music chimed on…”Pop!” out came the clown. She responded with surprise and while giggling she exclaimed, “That scared me!”

Much like the jack-in-the-box, our emotions “pop up” at times. And when they do, it can be shocking and disorienting—“Where did that come from?!”

Intense emotions are the ones that usually grab our attention.

Anger

Fear

Exhaustion

Shame

A few weeks ago my anger “popped up”…in a big way.

·       I felt tired from lack of sleep—crank.

·       Someone I love said something that hurt and I didn’t want to face the pain—crank.

·       I allowed comparative thoughts to go unchecked about why I’m not “successful” and why everyone else is—crank.

·       I noticed my irrational response to my kids and turned that anger on myself —crank.

Crank. Crank. Crank. Pop!

“I’ve had enough! I can’t make one more meal or do one more dang dish! I’m so tired of getting no where!” I sat down on the couch, put my head in my hands and cried. Everything I had held back, ignored, and pushed aside—erupted. Earlier in the day my husband, Tim, had noticed I was having a difficult time. He offered to adjust his schedule to give me some time alone. “No…I’m okay. I’ve got stuff to do.”

Tim sat down next to me and patiently listened. He encouraged me to take time to care for myself. I needed that. I was so cranked up it was difficult to give myself what I really needed.

What’s really going on?

Through tears and conversation, I poured out my heart. My anger wasn’t really about the dishes or cooking. In fact anger wasn’t at the core of what was really going on at all.

I spent my needed alone-time finding my way back to my heart. Identifying and acknowledging what I really felt and what I really needed under the hurt, anger, and confusion.

What I needed was rest. To be gentle with myself. And in THAT space my heart became soft. With a soft heart I could see what was true and I could receive God’s presence and hear His voice of love.

God had been inviting me all along to enter into this place. At each “crank” He was there, offering me comfort and a fresh perspective. But I was too busy muscling my way through productivity—ignoring all the signs and cues which rendered me motionless. Unable to move ahead with integrity. I was hurting and going at a pace that wasn’t good for my heart.

Sometimes we act as if our emotions can be “toyed” with. Like they can be cranked and cranked and cranked…ignored, pushed aside, pummeled…pretending that everything is “okay” and then somehow expect there won’t be any consequences - to ourselves or those around us.

Some people live their entire lives in this loop. Round and round, rejecting what’s important within and ignoring the serious business of their hearts. Cranking and popping. Cranking and popping.

What’s the alternative?

Emotionally courageous people make it a habit of noticing their emotions, acknowledging what’s really going on, giving themselves some compassion, and being open to some new perspectives.

In essence, emotionally courageous people pay attention to their hearts. They slow down long enough to identify and cast aside the “shoulds” of the world. They get gently curious with themselves and ask:

What’s going on here? What do I need? Lord, what are you saying?

Emotionally courageous people are patient with themselves and tune into the stuff that’s “cranking” on their hearts. With practice, this important and challenging work helps us be more resilient and at times even avoid the “pop” all together.

So the next time you feel the emotional cranks happening, don’t be a crank. Take the time to identify what your emotions are really telling you and find your way back to your true heart.

 

Brittani cherishes quiet time with Jesus, coffee dates with her husband, dancing with her girls, and making people laugh--impersonations are her jam! She partners with her husband Tim to help people live out of their God given design. She loves working with leaders and helping them stay in their highest priority while staying true to their heart. Basically, she JUMPS at the opportunity to be present and laser-focused on matters of the heart.

Brittani cherishes quiet time with Jesus, coffee dates with her husband, dancing with her girls, and making people laugh--impersonations are her jam! She partners with her husband Tim to help people live out of their God given design. She loves working with leaders and helping them stay in their highest priority while staying true to their heart. Basically, she JUMPS at the opportunity to be present and laser-focused on matters of the heart.

Ken Roberts
Do You Know What The Odds Are Of A Pastor NOT Finishing Well?
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Do you know what the odds are of you winning the Mega Million lottery in 2019?  

Well according to a CNBC report it’s 1 in 302,000,000!

You have better odds at:

  • Marrying a millionaire          -1 in 215 million

  • Being elected president       -1 in 320.6 million

  • Getting struck by lighting     -1 in 100 million

Do you know what the odds are of a pastor NOT finishing well in ministry? 

Well it’s not as high as NOT winning the lotto, but it’s still pretty high. 

Here's what the research shows

According to research done by J. Robert Clinton, from the leadership development department at Fuller Theological Institute, 80% of pastors never make it to what he calls “convergence.”  That’s where our gifts, passions, temperament, and our life and ministry experiences all come together. It’s when we’re living and leading out of our “sweet spot,” and making our greatest contribution. 

Yep you heard right. 80%! That’s pretty high odds. 

According to Clinton’s research, most pastors and Christian leaders either get stuck or get derailed in what he calls the Life Maturing Stage (the most critical stage in the life of a leader) and never make it to their season of Convergence, which is usually the most fruitful and fulfilling season in the life of a leader.  

Let’s beat the odds.

I can’t give you a formula for winning the lottery, but I can give you an opportunity to beat the odds at NOT finishing well in ministry. 

Check out my new Staying Power Webinar and find out:

  • The Path To Staying In It Over The Long Haul

  • The Process To Remaining Healthy In Life and Leadership

  • The Pattern To Ongoing Personal & Professional Growth 

I don't think it's an overstatement to say this could be my most important work to date.

Sincerely Submitted As A Fellow Traveler,

Ken 

P.SClick the button below and view my new Staying Power Webinar. It's a quick watch and worth $200 to you for doing so. (No Gimmicks) 

Ken Roberts
The Only Constant In Life
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 Guest Post by Leslee Cavanaugh

“Change is Good”… NOT!

You’ve heard it said, “Change is good.” 

As I prepare to send my second child back to college, I must disagree.

I hate this change. I hate this transition from a house full of people and activity, to silence and “empty nest.” Change may be good, but it is also HARD. It’s hard to move from the familiar to the unknown.

One of My Favorite Bible Verses…NOT!

Transitions are part of life, there are seasons for everything. Take, for example, one of my (not) favorite Bible verses, Ecclesiastes 3: 3-8.

A time to kill, And a time to heal;
A time to break down, And a time to build up;
  A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embrace
A time to gain, And a time to lose;
A time to keep, And a time to throw away,
A time to tear, And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;
A time to love, And a time to hate;
A time of war, And a time of peace.

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I have always struggled with this portion of Scripture. Why? Because, I get “stuck” and comfortable in seasons. I want to stay in certain seasons, but it’s not what I am called to do.

I must embrace the transitions in life and seek out what God has for me, as I move from season to season.

Lessons We Can Learn In Seasons Of Change

We all experience transitions in life.  We can wail, moan, and kick our feet, but what we really need to ask is “What can this teach me? What is God doing during this transition?”.

  • I need to remember that transition is not always a bad thing.

Often, God is moving me into something bigger, something that He wants to bless me in. In my life, I have moved through many seasons of transition. I moved from innocent childhood to teenage angst. Transitioned from somewhat wild and rebellious college life, to responsible career woman. I changed status from independent single woman to happily married woman and step-mom. I experienced a long season of infertility, and finally motherhood. I spent several years home schooling my children, then releasing them to high school, and now college. 

  • I have learned God is always there.

God is with me, He is ALWAYS with me. He knows when I am in a hard season, and He knows when I am in a season of abundant blessing. But He is there ALL THE TIME, no matter what the season, and especially in the transitions.

Okay, God, You have my attention. Life is full of changes. The only thing that does not change is YOU.

I can trust You in the transitions!

Living On Purpose,

Leslee Cavanaugh

Guest Blogger Leslee Cavanaugh is a wife, stepmother of two, mother of two, and grandmother of four. She enjoys creative writing and wants to share it with others.

Ken Roberts